You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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