I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
