just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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