btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Michael Bay diarrhea
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
