The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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