I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
