thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
