We're facebook friends in real life
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
