I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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