Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
