After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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