Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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