worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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