your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
