I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
