Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
