ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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