She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
