I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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