TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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