he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
