And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
