I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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