ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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