What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
