I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
