so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
