I love black thongs
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You need Xanax blowdarts
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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