Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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