it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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