If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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