Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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