road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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