I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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