I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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