If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
