If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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