she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize