Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
