8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
