you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
