i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize