Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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