it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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