Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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