Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
