So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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