real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
