that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
