That's intense
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
