I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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