had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
