some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I booty called her while she was in labor.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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