I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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