This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
