I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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