shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
