Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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