you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think my moral compass just broke
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
