I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
