I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
