the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize